Theory of Relationships

RELATIONAL THEORY: In physics and philosophy, a relational theory is a framework to understand reality or a physical system in such a way that the positions and other properties of objects are only meaningful relative to other objects. Wikipedia

My theory on human relationships is focused on the foundation healthy ones are built on. Having a life-long relationship with someone is not easy. It comes with many challenges, great memories and a support system you can count on when you need help. They might even be the ones to let you know you might need help before you are aware of it. This is a true friend. They have your back.

TRUST and SUPPORT are the key factors in building a healthy relationship. It’s no doubt why they are so hard to come by… for most of us, it takes a lot to trust another human being. I don’t mean trust as in trusting they’ll always having a spare phone charger, or not drop food in your car if you give them a ride, or even the basic middle ground in trusting they will act civil with you. When I talk about trust I mean really trust this other person with your feelings and thoughts on a daily basis. To support them and acknowledge when they share theirs feelings and thoughts as well, is important. Having a relationship of any kind is a ‘two way street.’

The underlying factor involved in my theory of relationships is communication. To trust and support another human, you assume they will communicate to you when they need that support. It is important to take responsibility to communicate when you feel like you are not getting that support, therefore you begin to trust the person less. Psychological studies show when our brains feel distrust, emotional conflict and lack of social support it can also make us feel lonely.

Of course, everyone’s tolerance for social connection is different, regardless most of us need that one person we can trust in our lives. What I found interesting about the article linked above is what it mentions closer to the end;

“Fundamentally, it doesn’t matter how technologically sophisticated we become; emotional connectivity remains a core part of being human. We need each other—maybe not in the ways that characterized us evolutionarily, but for a need that remains essential for psychological survival.”

Sreenivasan, S. and Weinberger, L., 2016. Why We Need Each Other. [online] Psychology Today. Available HERE. [Accessed 19 March 2021].

This explains a lot of things. Especially with the ride of technology in my generation (genZ;1990-2010). *see a list of generations by year here.

What generation of human are you? Comments are open 🙂

What I am interested in is the fact that not all rich people are happy. It seems straight forward. We all want what we don’t have and more of what brings us joy. We don’t get joy from money itself but because we know what it can do for us if we use it the ‘right’ way. Money can’t buy what another human being can possibly provide. Our society has accepted this in some ways because there is a lack of jobs and support from the government in most places in the world already.

No matter how advanced we may become in the future with tech/sciences improving being alone and isolation will be the fate for a lot of us. We can survive on our own —for so long— before we need help. The ‘key’ here is to accept when you do need help, and when people offer help, don’t be so quick to turn it down because it’s not what you wanted or expected. It’s what you may need, and if you’re religious, this may be ‘Gods way’ of helping you out of a tough situation. Accept the help you do get, and be grateful for where you are no matter how bad the situation is. You will learn from it and you will grow.

Back to my theory of relationships.

• trust • support • communication

Any relationship —friend, family, partner—without these three vital factors seems to fail. This isn’t a bad thing in my opinion. One, both or all people involved in the relationship need to first communicate what they are going through. For anyone in the same relationship, they won’t feel the same as you. Even if the relationship is healthy they may not feel the same as you and have doubts because of previous experiences. The relationships we create and/or involve ourselves with are the best way for humans to grow and learn. Not just about others but about ourselves and how we can be better people. Most people want to become better for someone or something, but I want to become better for myself. You should too.

Personally, I struggle to communicate how I genuinely feel in the heat of the moment, when situations get out of hand, so do my emotions and it takes me a while to react the way I should. I act out, get anxious and my anxiety leaks out into my actions and the way I speak to people I love. There should be no blame in a healthy relationship and have an understanding of the other persons way of communicating. Not every communicates emotions the same way. Angry people can get angry at you when they aren’t really, they may be stressed for other reasons. Shy people can shut down and have trouble communicating, but this doesn’t mean they don’t trust you, they are slowly learning how to trust like that again. I’m sure you get my point…

I am doing the best I can do communicate better, trust more and support any way I can in the relationships I’ve been building over the year, through a pandemic. Also with the relationships I’ve lost over the year… it’s a sad time and hard to think about the things I’ve done. I want to do better. Deep down, I’m sure everyone wants to better if they could only figure it out the first time. But then I thought if that were possible we would have nothing to live for. We would all die as soon as we figured out how to be better at life. No, it doesn’t always work that way. You have many opportunities to do better. I remind myself, don’t take them for granted.

When the waves of the ocean crash against the rocks on shore we don’t stand before them in fear of being swept away. But when the ocean becomes whole again, and is calm, we can stand where the ocean used to lay. So who is to say the land was not ocean. Who should tell you that the things you fear, you can live from.

emriyus. ‘Parents…’ 2021. *post coming soon

The following art projects are on my to-do list by the end of 2021:
  • framed freehand artwork
  • bookmarks, with original styles
  • photo reference art – this one is complicated to explain. I plan to take a photograph of, for example, —a plant— and twist my style into it using line work and shapes to mimic the original photo.
  • 2022 calendar(s) with 12 different designs for each month, +2 more if you include the front and back page
  • launch The Existentialist Store

Let’s create together.

If you are interested in a commission, please contact me here whichever way is best for you. Since I am working the night shift, I will do my best do reply within a full 24hr day.

Experience Anything Crazy?

It’s important you should know I’d love to hear ideas from you to inspire my next blog post or portfolio updates. I’d love to take your experience or dream and turn it into a form of visual art. If you feel intrigued don’t hesitate to message me.

Anything you want to know about? Anything you think I should know about? Any questions or comments about The Existentialist? Get in touch through my contact page via email or twitter and I will answer anything I receive.I Have An Idea

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Published by emriyus

I am human, just like you. I have been around for almost 20 years and although it may not be a lot of time to some, it feels like I've been alive forever. To cope with all the things my life has given me; good and bad, I've always been a writer. Maybe I didn't know or necessarily want to be a writer, but I was always on the creative side, not really understanding how different I was from others; I'm really not that different from you. To this day I'm still eager to learn more about myself, to improve and grow amorphously. I want to use this fuel of constant self-discovery as the direct source of 'energy' that can create whatever I want it to, making writing for me a healthier coping mechanism than most I've tried in my lifetime. That being said, I believe that starting my blog, The Existentialist, (all thanks to Wordpress and Bluehost teams) I finally have the opportunity and creative outlet to unleash my passion for art; writing. The beginning is never easy, and it won't get much easier I am aware. I can only believe in myself and keep my expectations to a minimum; I like to believe I hold no expectations, but they seem unavoidable. To whoever reads this, I'm not one to care about views or reads, I won't encourage/pressure you to read my work because for me, the thrill really comes from just making a finished piece of work I'm happy with, regardless if it is read by others or not; judgement from others is what I've feared all my life. I can only encourage you to have an open mind as a reader and believe in me as much as I believe in myself to accumulate the courage to start showing my creative writing(art) to the world. Everybody creates things in their lifetime, I am just another one of those beings; whether you like it or not, nouns (persons, places and 'things') exist to teach us something about ourselves. There is always more to learn...

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