Tuesday, May 18th, 2021 — 4:47PM (EST)
Oh, what it feels like to be a 20 year old. To be honest I’m not sure… as I write this I am living my last day as a teenager. Tomorrow I will officially, no longer, be allowed to use that excuse in life. Society and the people around me will expect me to change over night to be the “average 20 year old—student.” I am not that. I’m glad I’ve been able to get some blog work done though, I’m sure this will end up in that one post I had saved for my birthday.
Thursday, June 24th, 2021 — 8:54AM (EST)
Reality is starting to set in. I’m going to be 30 in 10 years. Less than that now. To be exact, I will be 30 in 9 years, 10 months and 24 days. If still breathing, I will turn 30 years old on a Monday in May of 2031. Twenty, Thirty, One. Hold on a minute. To me growing up and reading the history books I used to see people born in 1901. Now the next generation of kids might be taught about the people born in my own year. The reality has set it that I am not getting any younger.
I do not feel alone; I am not alone.
It makes sense to me now why people 20s are having the most exciting or life changing years of their lives. This can be “good” or “bad” but either way something major happens and you’ll be stuck at a crossroads at some point. Between 20 and the 29 you really figure yourself out, and by saying that I kind of mean the opposite.
“There is always more to learn…”
Wednesday, August 16th, 2021 — 3:49 AM (EST)
I can do better.
All the blog posts I write have existentialism hiding (or not) in the background.
The belief that I exist in this world is a fact. The belief that I exist only to exist is something of a dream. If life really were that way I wouldn’t be in pain and neither would you.
From working full time, to managing two jobs, I still find time to write these posts but admit I struggle to work on myself everyday. But I am. I have to convince myself everyday that something within me or about me has changed, even if I’m not aware of it yet. If I don’t, I end up in a downward spiral thinking I will never make use of my life.
The truth is, if we stay the same we will never experience anything much different in life. We have to change, the more versatile we are in life, the more experiences life will give us.
Without the experience in another world* I feel stupid to say I know anything. I have experienced a multitude of worlds in my country (Canada) as it’s so diverse…
*another world in the sense that culture, communities, values and morals are different in cities. Nonetheless, but of course, on a greater scale countries are different from each other. In this sense, we have to admit there are a multitude of worlds, living within and from one world simultaneously; planet Earth.
…but, there is more out there to see. Before the pandemic broke out I was trying to find ways to get a vacation from work and explore the world. I am still young, only 20 now, it feels like my time is running out on Earth. It could be climate change, politics or the way our society works. In the end, these people around me exist to forget their existence. For the longest time I was that way too, doing anything I could to forget why I was even here.
‘If today was your last day…’ they say, how do you answer that? I find the answer always changes… If it truly was my last day I would take a train somewhere far and never go back to my birth place until I saw everything Earth has to offer. Stop at every stop, try the food, write a message at each one, let the locals know an outsider had learned something from them. Teach something and learn about their lifestyle or the way they treat their neighbors. How they told stores, the language they use and the things they do in their daily lives that I would never think of.
It is worth the risk to experience all you can before you die. Death is inevitable, and unknown to us all, even if we have a death sentence already, we never have the exact date and time until it’s too late. It is worth the risk to experience life, so I’m going to go to that. Stay rad.
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