30 in 10 years?!

Tuesday, May 18th, 2021 — 4:47PM (EST)

Oh what it feels like to be a 20 year old. To be honest I don’t know yet… as I write this I am living my last day as a teenager. Tomorrow I will officially, no longer be allowed to use that excuse in life. Society and the people around me will expect me to change over night to be the “average 20 year old—student” I am not that. I don’t think I will be tomorrow. I’m glad it’s a nice day out though, I’ve been able to enjoy the weather and get some blog work done.

Thursday, June 24th, 2021 — 8:54AM (EST)

Reality is starting to set in. I’m going to be 30 in 10 years. Less than that now. To be exact, I will be 30 in 9 years, 10 months and 24 days. If still breathing, I will turn 30 years old on a Monday in May of 2031. Twenty, Thirty, One. Hold on a minute. To me growing up and reading the history books I used to see people born in 1901. Now the next generation of kids might be taught about the people born in my generation. The reality has set in that I am not getting any younger.

I feel alone; I am not alone.

It makes sense to me now why people in their 20s are having the most exciting or life changing years of their lives. This can be “good” or “bad” but either way something major happens and you’ll be stuck at a crossroads. Between 20 and the 29 you really figure yourself out, and by saying that I kind of mean the opposite.

There is always more to learn…”

emriyus. 2020. About The Artist. (a future post “there is always more to learn” is scheduled discussing this, stay tuned!)

If you’ve been reading my website a lot you may know by now I am fascinated by existentialism. I study it along with philosophy, and like to refer to some of its values. This helps me understand life and by writing about it I learn more. I hope I can help others learn more too. Not to be too biased, but philosophy; existentialism made more sense to me opposed to religious values and beliefs. Ironically though, religion and philosophy go hand in hand and have a lot of similarities.

“I believe exposing people to philosophy rather than religion can benefit society in many positive ways.”

-emriyus. 2021. (a future post “religion in a nutshell” is scheduled discussing this, stay tuned!)

The more we learn about ourselves as individuals, the more we have to give back to society. No one is saying we have to give back anything, and it’s quite obvious that some people in the world don’t give back.

In philosophy there is a “branch of philosophy”called moral philosophy. Really diving into what morals and values really mean and how they affect our lives. Essentially they are the “rules” that we have as individuals and combined as a society. For example, your individual morals/belief may be that the earth is flat based on your own individual experience or interpretation of information and/or stories. On the other hand, the morals of majority(societies) say that the earth is a sphere based off many similar individual experiences, scientific information and/or storytelling.

That was probably a lot to take in. Take time to read that over, because I feel it is important to know. What you believe is right/wrong may not be the same as what the “world” around you believes. This alone is proof that we all live in our own worlds and will never truly know what another person has experienced.

APRIL 16TH 2021 – 3:49 AM(EST)

I can do better.

All of the blog posts I write have existentialism laying in the background. The belief that I exist in this world is a fact. The belief that I exist only to exist is something of a dream. If life really were that way I wouldn’t be in pain; I’d be free. From working full time, sometimes two, three jobs in a day, I still find time to write these posts but struggle to work on myself everyday. Everyday I am changing into a different person, every second I am different.

I am what I am doing, doing what I am. A chair can be a chair until you tie your shoe on it, it’s a stand. The car can be something to get you from point A to point B, but for others it’s their only place to sleep. So are things really what we think they are? Cultures change this as well, I believe Western culture limits us by using the Catholic Church as the only socially accepted guide for life, for a very long time it’s been a major influence. I want to expand my knowledge, see more and learn more of this world. But how can I do that without a passport? Without the experience in another world I feel stupid to say I know anything. I have experienced a multitude of worlds in my hometown and in my country but I know there is more out there.

Before the pandemic broke out I was trying to find ways to get a vacation from work and explore the world. I am still young, only 20 this year, but it feels like my time is running out on Earth. It could be climate change, politics or the way our society works. In the end, these people around me exist to forget their existence. For the longest time I was that way too, doing anything I could to forget why I was even here. If today was your last day they say, but I don’t know how to answer that. If it truly was my last day I would take a train somewhere far and never come back. Stop at every stop, write a message at each one, to let the locals know an outsider had learned something. Learned about their lifestyle or the way they treat their neighbors. How they run their stores and the things they have I’ve never seen before. A part of me is still craving that and I won’t stop till I drop.

Published by emriyus

I am human, just like you. I have been around for almost 20 years and although it may not be a lot of time to some, it feels like I've been alive forever. To cope with all the things my life has given me; good and bad, I've always been a writer. Maybe I didn't know or necessarily want to be a writer, but I was always on the creative side, not really understanding how different I was from others; I'm really not that different from you. To this day I'm still eager to learn more about myself, to improve and grow amorphously. I want to use this fuel of constant self-discovery as the direct source of 'energy' that can create whatever I want it to, making writing for me a healthier coping mechanism than most I've tried in my lifetime. That being said, I believe that starting my blog, The Existentialist, (all thanks to Wordpress and Bluehost teams) I finally have the opportunity and creative outlet to unleash my passion for art; writing. The beginning is never easy, and it won't get much easier I am aware. I can only believe in myself and keep my expectations to a minimum; I like to believe I hold no expectations, but they seem unavoidable. To whoever reads this, I'm not one to care about views or reads, I won't encourage/pressure you to read my work because for me, the thrill really comes from just making a finished piece of work I'm happy with, regardless if it is read by others or not; judgement from others is what I've feared all my life. I can only encourage you to have an open mind as a reader and believe in me as much as I believe in myself to accumulate the courage to start showing my creative writing(art) to the world. Everybody creates things in their lifetime, I am just another one of those beings; whether you like it or not, nouns (persons, places and 'things') exist to teach us something about ourselves. There is always more to learn...

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