RELATIONAL THEORY: In physics and philosophy, a relational theory is a framework to understand reality or a physical system in such a way that the positions and other properties of objects are only meaningful relative to other objects. Wikipedia

My theory on human relationships is focused on the foundation healthy ones are built on. Having a life-long relationship with someone is not easy. It comes with many challenges, great memories and a support system you can count on when you need help. They might even be the ones to let you know you might need help before you are aware of it. This is a true friend. They have your back.

TRUST and SUPPORT are the key factors in building a healthy relationship. It’s no doubt why they are so hard to come by… for most of us, it takes a lot to trust another human being. I don’t mean trust as in trusting they’ll always having a spare phone charger, or not drop food in your car if you give them a ride, or even the basic middle ground in trusting they will act civil with you. When I talk about trust I mean really trust this other person with your feelings and thoughts on a daily basis. To support them and acknowledge when they share theirs feelings and thoughts as well, is important. Having a relationship of any kind is a ‘two way street.’

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The underlying factor involved in my theory of relationships is communication. To trust and support another human, you assume they will communicate to you when they need that support. It is important to take responsibility to communicate when you feel like you are not getting that support, therefore you begin to trust the person less. Psychological studies show when our brains feel distrust, emotional conflict and lack of social support it can also make us feel lonely.

Of course, everyone’s tolerance for social connection is different, regardless, most of us need that one person we can trust in our lives. What I found interesting about the article linked above is what it mentions closer to the end;

“Fundamentally, it doesn’t matter how technologically sophisticated we become; emotional connectivity remains a core part of being human. We need each other—maybe not in the ways that characterized us evolutionarily, but for a need that remains essential for psychological survival.”

Sreenivasan, S. and Weinberger, L., 2016. Why We Need Each Other. [online] Psychology Today. Available HERE. [Accessed 19 March 2021].

This explains a lot of things. Especially with the rise of technology in my generation (genZ;1990-2010). *see a list of generations by year here.

What generation of human are you? Comments are open 🙂

What I am interested in is the fact that not all rich people are happy. It seems straight forward. We all want what we don’t have and more of what brings us joy. We don’t get joy from money itself because we know what it can do for us, if we use it the ‘right’ way. Money can’t buy what another human being can possibly provide. Our society has accepted this in some ways because there is a lack of jobs and support from the government in most places in the world already.

No matter how advanced we may become in the future with tech/sciences improving, being alone and isolation will mean death for a lot of us. We can survive on our own —for so long— before we need help. The ‘key’ here is to accept when you do need help, and when people offer help, don’t be so quick to turn it down because it’s not what you wanted or expected. It’s what you may need, and if you’re religious, this may be ‘Gods way’ of helping you out of a tough situation. Accept the help you do get, and be grateful for where you are no matter how bad the situation is. You will learn from it and you will grow.

Back to my theory of relationships.

• trust • support • communication

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Any relationship —friend, family, partner—without these three vital factors seems to fail. This isn’t a bad thing in my opinion. One, both or all people involved in the relationship need to first communicate their thoughts and feelings (in a healthy way). For anyone in that relationship, won’t feel the same as you. Even if the relationship is healthy, they may feel different and have doubts because of x, y and z.

The relationships we create and/or involve ourselves with are the best way for humans to grow and learn. Not just about others but about ourselves and how we can be better people. Most people want to become better for someone or something, but I want to become better for myself. You should too.

Personally, I struggle to communicate how I genuinely feel in the heat of the moment. When situations get out of hand, so do my emotions and it takes me a while to react the way I should. I act out, get anxious and my anxiety leaks into my actions and the way I speak to people I love. There should be no blame in a healthy relationship, rather a mutual understanding of the other persons way of communicating. Not everyone communicates emotions the same way. Angry people can get angry at you when they aren’t really, they may be stressed for other reasons. Shy people can shut down and have trouble communicating, but this doesn’t mean they don’t trust you, they are slowly learning how to trust again. I’m sure you get my point…

I am doing the best I can do to communicate better, trust more and support any way I can in the relationships I’ve been building over the year, through a pandemic. Also with the relationships I’ve lost over the year… it’s a sad time and hard to think about the things I’ve done. I want to do better. Deep down, I’m sure everyone wants to be better, if they could only figure it out the first time… But then I thought… if that were possible we would have nothing to live for. We would all die of boredom if life was that easy. No, it doesn’t always work that way. You have many opportunities to do better. I remind myself, don’t take them for granted.

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The following art projects are on my to-do list by the end of 2021:

• logo stickers + sticker sheets
• bookmarks, with original styles
• commission artwork
• launch The Existentialist Store

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Let’s create together.

If you are interested in a commission, please contact me here whichever way is best for you. Since I am working the night shift, I will do my best do reply within a full 24hr day.

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Anything you want to know about? Anything you think I should know about? Any questions or comments about The Existentialist? Get in touch through my contact page via email or twitter and I will answer anything I receive.I Have An Idea

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